Human beings are gregarious. We prove this in study after study. We need the esteem of our peers. Some of us appear to want the adoration of the world and are quite disheartened if there are any dissenters. The need for acceptance, esteem, must be balanced by the need for self-acceptance, self-esteem. Our daughters see how the world seems to fawn over Pamela Anderson’s breasts and, despite the public nature of her private life, our daughters fail to see that these same breasts did not resolve the most intimate relationship issues that she faced.

By allowing the issue to be about a girl’s breast not being the “right” size, we side step the primary issue which is they are what they are. A girl is not her breasts nor do they define any aspect of her other than themselves as breasts. How can adults who cannot do this for themselves find it within them to do so for their daughters? They achieve this feat by behaving like parents.

I remember several occasions when I was a teenager that my own mother reminded me, “I am not your friend, I am your mother!” I recall thinking to myself that it was certainly true because no friend would treat me the way she did. We were both quite correct. Teenage friends are unlikely to tell you the truth when it is to their disadvantage to do so. Teenage friendships can be tenuous because they are fleeting, often based on the consensus of several minds wildly in flux. Friends are selected by criteria and change or growth can mean the end of the relationship. Parents promote growth and stay for the good, the bad and the 2 am phone call to come pick you up because your friend took off without you phone call.